Thursday, March 03, 2005
| What Could It Possibly Mean? I had the absolute strangest dream last night. It began with me watching television at my parent’s house in Albany. Both my mom and dad were there and our little dachshund, Bismark, was running around the living room as crazily as he usually does. At the commercial break, I ran upstairs to get something out of my bag. When I opened my bedroom door, I found my two year old son taking a nap on my bed. I didn’t know I had a son until I opened the door, but when I saw him, I thought to myself “Oh my God! How could I leave him up here and forget about him?” My son was a beautiful baby and he was dressed in the most adorable Baby Gap clothing. I picked him up and was carrying him back downstairs to the living room when I suddenly realized that we were late for the carnival. I told my parents that we had to leave right away or we were going to miss the whole thing. We all walked out the front door together and appeared immediately at the carnival. (It’s funny how dreams do that…I guess the carnival was going on in my front yard all along!) At the carnival, my son ran around and played with some other kids while I watched him. I felt these overwhelming feelings of love and pride for him. He was such a lively and handsome baby and I was so happy that he was mine. After awhile of him running around, I decided it was time for us to go back to the hotel to get some sleep. Why go to a hotel and not back to my parent’s house which was clearly very close to the carnival? Beats me! So on we went to the hotel. I got him ready for bed and afterwards I let him run around in his diaper while I got things ready for bedtime. Eventually, I put my son to bed and took a seat on the couch watching him in his crib. Just as he was falling to sleep there was some loud noise coming from the room next door. My son woke up and started to cry. I picked him up and carried him with me to the next door neighbor’s room. I knocked on their door and when it opened up, J. Lo was standing there in a fancy formal gown. Her entourage was milling around and they were playing some really loud music. I tell J. Lo to “Turn the fucking music down!” and she laughs in my face and shuts the door. I pounded on the door and she opened it and I said “Turn the music down now!” She responds with “Your baby has a boner” and I looked down and my baby totally had a little baby boner. It was the sickest and most embarrassing thing ever. J. Lo and her lame-o friends laughed at me and my baby and shut the door again. As I started to walk back to my room, I saw that there was some left over room service food sitting in front of J. Lo’s door. There was half of a rotisserie chicken and some collared greens or some shit. And then I got the best idea ever. I put my baby down, picked up the chicken and knocked on the door again. When J to the L.O. opened it up, I took the chicken and threw it at her. She screamed as it hit her in the stomach and got grease and chicken bits all over her fancy gown. I burst out laughing in her face, grabbed my baby by the hand and we ran back to our room. Once we were safely inside, I told my baby to hide because I was afraid that J. Lo’s entourage would come and kill us. Within minutes, there was pounding on the door. My heart leapt into my throat and I held the door closed shut with the weight of my body. My baby hid and I prayed that they wouldn’t get into the room. Then I woke up. |
